When to Send Wedding Thank You Notes (and What Happens If You’re Late)
When to Send Wedding Thank You Notes (and What Happens If You’re Late)
Your wedding is over, the confetti has settled, and the gifts have been unwrapped — now it’s time to say thank you. But when, exactly, should wedding thank you notes be sent? And what happens if you're already behind?
Here’s everything you need to know about wedding thank-you note timing, etiquette, and how to catch up gracefully if you’ve missed the ideal window.
💌 When Should Wedding Thank You Notes Be Sent?
The general rule:
Within 3 months of the wedding is widely considered the gold standard.
According to The Emily Post Institute, a leading authority on etiquette, thank-you notes should ideally be sent within three months after the wedding day — though sooner is always better, especially for gifts received before the big day (like shower or engagement gifts) [1].
A more specific timeline:
| Gift Received | When to Send the Thank You Note | | ----------------------------------------- | --------------------------------- | | Before the wedding (shower, registry) | Within 2–3 weeks of receiving it | | On your wedding day or at the event | Within 3 months after the wedding | | After the wedding (late arrival) | Within 3 weeks of receiving it |
While digital thank-you messages may be tempting in a world of DMs and emails, traditional etiquette strongly favors handwritten notes as a lasting and meaningful gesture.
🕐 What If You’re Late?
Life happens — honeymoons stretch on, jobs resume, and you might look up one day and realize it's been four months (or more). Here's what to do if you’ve fallen behind.
1. Send Them Anyway
Don’t let embarrassment delay things further. A late thank-you note is far better than no note at all. Most guests will appreciate the effort and grace, even if it arrives a little late. Be honest and sincere — a quick acknowledgment of the delay is fine, but don’t dwell on it.
Example:
“We’re so sorry for the delay in sending this — we’ve been reliving our favorite moments and wanted to thank you properly…”
2. Prioritize the Personal
If you're behind, resist the urge to send generic or templated messages just to get them out the door. People notice when something feels rushed. Keep it personal: reference the specific gift, express heartfelt gratitude, and mention how you plan to use or enjoy it.
📝 Why Timing Matters (and Why It’s Forgivable)
Sending a thank-you note promptly shows:
- Appreciation for time, thought, and money spent on you
- Maturity and respect for your relationships
- That you noticed and remembered what your guests gave or did
But if you’re late, don’t panic. Etiquette is ultimately about consideration, not strict rules. As Martha Stewart Weddings notes, even thank-yous sent six months later “are always better than never sending one at all” [2].
⏱️ How to Save Time and Still Send Handwritten Notes
Writing 75+ notes by hand can feel daunting — especially after a long wedding planning process. That's where hybrid solutions like ThankCraft come in.
ThankCraft uses AI to help you write thoughtful thank-you messages (even personalized to each guest) and handwrites them using real ink pens — complete with matching handwriting on the envelope. The result is a handwritten note that looks and feels personal, but takes a fraction of the time.
✅ Final Tips for Timely (or Tardy) Thank You Notes
- Start small: Tackle 5–10 notes at a time instead of all at once
- Make it a couple activity: One writes, one addresses
- Keep a list: Track who gave what using your registry or a spreadsheet
- Use tools: Services like ThankCraft can automate the tedious parts while keeping it personal
In Conclusion
Sending your wedding thank-you notes promptly is a wonderful way to honor the generosity of your guests. But if you're late, don’t worry — thoughtfulness and follow-through matter far more than perfect timing.
Just start. Your guests will appreciate your gratitude, no matter when it arrives.